Family Holiday Survival Guide

Keeping a Relationship Journal

By Doreene Clement and Linda Miles, Ph.D.

Keeping a relationship journal or diary for five years is an amazing, yet simple tool that supports and enhances you, your partner and your relationship. With your relationship journal, you both learn, and empower. Within the pages of your journal you will learn about yourself and your relationship. And you will begin to observe and recognize what you want to do differently, because it no longer works for you.

When you write your thoughts and experiences in a journal, you can actually see what you are thinking, putting your thoughts into a solid, tangible form. Patterns of thinking and doing, that we all have, are easily observed when recorded on paper. Creating a written record, over five years, helps to track and record life daily, writing about where we are, where we were and especially where we want to go. Journals are a proven, effective method for personal growth that help focus, clarify, and reduce stress.

Using an already formatted book like the, The 5 Year Journal,, is an easy way to keep your relationship journal. You can also use a computer, or a blank book or notebook with enough pages to record daily for five years. Each page needs to have enough room to write three lines per day, for five years.

Every day, on one line, succinctly journal your summarized answer to each of the three following questions:

1. What is most important to you about today?

2. What lesson did you learn today?

3. What affirmation or goal do you have for one year from today?


1. Today I saw myself changing for the much better.

2. I learned the difference between needs and needy.

3. I am healthy physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and financilally.

Journaling Tips

Keep a separate journal from your partner, but decide ahead of time if you want to share your entries with each other, or if you want to keep your journals private.

You can change your mind about whether to share or keep your journal entries private.

You may start your journal on any day of the year.

Set your journal where you see it every day: On the kitchen table, your desk or in your briefcase. This will help remind you to journal daily.

Keep a pen or pencil with your journal.

Skipping days is a part of journaling.

You can use the same color of pen or use different colors. You can also designate colors of pens for certain feelings, i.e., green = growth, blue = sadness, orange = joy, red = anger - you get the idea. If you are using the different colored pens, write in the front of your journal what you decided each color signifies.

Relationship journals are an easy, fun, and interesting way to discover more about ourselves and each other.

Where were you a year ago ?

What were you doing 2 years ago ?

What were you feeling 3 years ago ?

What were your dreams 5 years ago ?

Journal daily the next 5 years in minutes a day with

The 5 Year Journal

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